Robert Griffith | 29 March 2021
Robert Griffith
29 March 2021

  1. If you work in a hospital, can you call in sick?
  2. Why do you need a driver’s license to buy grog when you can’t drink and drive?
  3. Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
  4. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
  5. Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
  6. Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
  7. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
  8. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
  9. If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
  10. Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
  11. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
  12. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
  13. What is the speed of dark?
  14. How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
  15. What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
  16. After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
  17. When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
  18. Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?
  19. Why isn’t there mouse-flavoured cat food?
  20. How can there be self-help groups?
  21. Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
  22. Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
  23. If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
  24. Hermits have no peer pressure.
  25. There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
  26. How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
  27. Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
  28. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
  29. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
  30. Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
  31. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
  32. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
  33. When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink?
  34. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
  35. Why is the word abbreviation so long?
  36. If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
  37. Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
  38. What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
  39. Is it possible to be totally partial?
  40. What’s another word for thesaurus?
  41. When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
  42. Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
  43. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
  44. Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
  45. How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?
  46. Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
  47. When you choke a Smurf, what colour does it turn?
  48. Why do they call it a TV “set” when you only get one?
  49. Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
  50. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

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