Church hurt is real. Some have been wounded by gossip or control, others by hypocrisy, neglect or abuse. The pain can be so deep that walking back into a church building feels impossible. Jesus does not minimise that pain; He names wolves, warns about stumbling blocks, and reserves strong words for leaders who devour rather than shepherd. If you limp today, He sees you. “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted.” (Psalm 34:18).

Healing begins with bringing the wound into the light, first before God. Tell Him exactly what happened and how it still affects you. The psalms give language for righteous anger and raw lament. They also keep us anchored in God’s steadfast love when trust has been shattered elsewhere. Next, seek trustworthy people. A wise counsellor, a seasoned pastor outside the situation, or a small circle of mature believers can help you process the story and discern a path forward. Healing rarely happens alone.

Forgiveness is often part of that path, but forgiveness is not denial. It does not excuse evil or demand instant reconciliation. It releases vengeance to God and refuses to let bitterness have the last word. Paul writes, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil… Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:17, 21). That is not cheap grace; it is courageous grace.

For some, safety requires leaving a particular church. That can be wise. Yet do not abandon Jesus because His people failed you. Christ is the head; He is not identical with any local expression, and He is better than our worst experiences. Ask Him to lead you, at the right time, toward a community that is humble, accountable and centred on the gospel. Look for churches where leaders are known, not distant; where repentance is normal, not rare; where the vulnerable are protected; where Scripture is handled with reverence; where prayer and mutual care run through the congregation’s life.

If you are part of a church family, become the kind of member who helps make it a safe place. Refuse gossip. Protect confidences. Raise concerns through biblical processes rather than social media. If you lead, cultivate transparency and accountability; invite questions; welcome outside oversight; correct gently; discipline justly. Jesus said the world would know we are His by our love. When love shapes power, churches become hospitals for sinners instead of museums for saints.

One day Christ will present His church to Himself, radiant and without blemish. We are not there yet. But even now, many have found their faith restored in healthy communities after deep hurt. Take the next step. Ask for help. Let Jesus and His people walk with you toward wholeness.