Forgiveness may be one of the most powerful, liberating commands in Scripture – and also one of the most difficult. It doesn’t come naturally. When we’ve been wounded, wronged, or betrayed, forgiveness feels counterintuitive. And when emotions run high, we often wait to forgive until we ‘feel ready.”’
Peter once asked Jesus, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus replied, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” (Matthew 18:21–22). This wasn’t a math lesson. It was a heart lesson. Jesus was showing us that forgiveness isn’t about keeping score – it’s about keeping our hearts free.
Choosing to forgive doesn’t mean pretending the offence didn’t happen. It doesn’t mean forgetting, excusing, or ignoring the pain. It means choosing to release the offender from the debt they owe us, trusting God with the justice. That’s why forgiveness takes faith. We’re entrusting God with the outcome instead of taking revenge into our own hands.
Jesus modelled this perfectly. As He hung on the cross, surrounded by cruelty, He prayed, “Father, forgive them.” Not after they repented. Not after they said sorry. But while they were still mocking and murdering Him. His forgiveness was not based on their behaviour – it was based on His love and mission.
Unforgiveness, on the other hand, is a prison. We think we’re punishing the other person by holding on to our resentment, but we end up poisoning ourselves. Hebrews 12:15 warns us not to let “any bitter root grow up to cause trouble and defile many.” Bitterness always spreads – into our thoughts, our relationships, and even our health.
Forgiveness doesn’t always restore the relationship. Sometimes boundaries are necessary, especially in cases of repeated harm. But forgiveness does restore your soul. It breaks the power of the offence over your life. It frees you to move forward in peace, even if the situation remains unresolved.
You may not feel like forgiving – but that’s okay. The power is not in how you feel, but in the act of obedience. Sometimes we must say, “Lord, I choose to forgive,” even if our emotions haven’t caught up yet. Over time, God will begin to heal what’s broken.
If you’re struggling to forgive, ask God for the grace to do it. You may need to forgive more than once. Forgiveness is sometimes a process, not a moment. But every time you choose it, you’re choosing freedom.
The cross reminds us that we’ve been forgiven much. And as recipients of that grace, we’re called to extend it to others.
Forgiveness isn’t easy – but it is Christlike. And it’s the doorway to healing.