Are You connected? That’s a question that matters these days – at least as far as your success out in the world is concerned. Do you know the right people? Have you made the right contacts? Have you nurtured friendships with people in high places? Are you networked? Are you online? When was the last time you checked your e-mail or social media accounts? If the rich, famous, and important come knocking at your door or calling online today, will you be ready to answer? Are you connected?
It’s true that the people who are ‘connected’ in this way are the ones who are often deemed successful and important – both in the world and in the church. How many times have you heard it said, or implied, at least, that the people who are most desirable for leadership roles in the church are the ones who’ve achieved great things in the secular world? Who wouldn’t want a church leadership full of doctors, lawyers, senators, and top executives? And how do you achieve success in those realms, if not by being constantly conscious of connecting with the powerful, the respectable, and the generous?
It’s true in every area of twenty first century life in our nation and others, the church included: We are driven to devote energy to relationships with certain groups of people, and we are equally driven to avoid getting bogged down in relationships with other, less desirable, less important groups of people. Yet the claims of the gospel make it clear that there is much more to human relationships than that! In fact, the gospel in many places goes directly against this benchmark of modern culture which says that the most important thing in life is who you know, and how well you know them.
The events and news of our world are sometimes punctuated by stories, some fictional, some real, of people who’ve realised that – even though ‘being connected’ to other people is an absolutely vital part of life – there is indeed more to ‘being connected’ with others than simply calculating what they can give back to us in return.
In the 1988 movie Rain Man, Tom Cruise plays a somewhat greedy, self-centred fellow who’s initially trying to figure out a way to get the whole of the family inheritance away from his brother Raymond, played by Dustin Hoffman. Raymond is an autistic savant, which means that, although his intellect is top-level, far above average, his social skills and ability to interact in the world are severely lacking. So his brother is determined to convince Raymond and all other interested parties that the family money is worth nothing to Raymond, but it could be worth something to him!
So, big brother ‘connects’ with his special-needs brother, for the sole purpose of getting something back for his efforts. Over the course of the movie, though, the greedy brother realizes that there’s more to his relationship with Raymond, after all, than simply getting the money away from him. There’s the simple joy of being in a relationship with another person, a joy that’s intensified for him by the knowledge that Raymond can never truly repay what he’s doing for him. There is more to ‘being connected’ to others than the simple calculation of what they can give back to us in return!
This lesson was also learned by former US President, Jimmy Carter. As a career politician, Carter endured many years of the obligatory ‘superficial connections’ which always characterize political campaigning – connections and so-called friendships that are only entered with a view to a payoff, a profit gained out of the relationship.
After his time as President, though, Jimmy Carter turned his efforts to humanitarian work; in his final years he devoted a great deal of time to building homes for needy families through Habitat for Humanity. He, too, realized – in his case, as a result of his Christian faith – that there’s great joy to be found in entering into a relationship and doing meaningful things for other people who can never possibly pay you back for your efforts.
Jesus teaches us this lesson so well. He taught it through His actions – by entering into a life-changing relationship with the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4, knowing full well the life history of that woman and knowing that His consorting with her would do nothing for His own reputation; by performing miraculous healings of so many needy men and women, knowing that they could never truly repay him for his deeds; and ultimately, by suffering a sacrificial, substitutionary death at Calvary, entering a relationship with us by providing a gift that not even the sum total of all human goodness from now until eternity could ever repay. Jesus calls us to relate to others in a way that pays no attention to status – neither our own status nor the status of the other person. For example:
Luke 14:1, 7-14 “One Sabbath, when Jesus went to eat in the house of a prominent Pharisee, he was being carefully watched. … When he noticed how the guests picked the places of honour at the table, he told them this parable: “When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honour, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited. If so, the host who invited both of you will come and say to you, ‘Give this person your seat.’ Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place. But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.’ Then you will be honoured in the presence of all the other guests. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbours; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”
Stories like that one from Jesus make very clear the truth that it’s not who you know; it’s simply how well you’re willing to get to know them, and how much of yourself you’re willing to give in the process. What drives us to pursue certain relationships, and ignore others? There is certain behaviour in that regard mandated by the world; but there’s also relational behaviour that’s mandated by the Kingdom of God. Whether you realize it or not, you answer the question every day: To whom will you cater? Who will be the focus of your energy? The world’s agenda – which Jesus warns against in this passage – the world’s agenda tells us to cater to fame, fortune, and family.
In verse 8, there’s reference to a ‘distinguished’ guest who is so important in the world’s eyes – there’s fame. And in verse 12 there’s reference to the ‘rich neighbours’ – there’s fortune. And these are the two biggies! We are taught from an early age, it seems, that we must find ways, if we hope to succeed, to woo the influential, and count ourselves in their ranks!
The third group here is family; this group is referred to in verse 12 as ‘friends, brothers or sisters, relatives’ – and the idea here is a bit different, family is not necessarily influential; but the driving force here once again is status. You relate to that other person, give of yourself, only if you’re dead sure that you’ll get something back! Do everything in your power to get yourself on equal footing with those who have fame and fortune. If you can’t do that, then at least direct your effort towards family and friends, because you know where to find them whenever you need a favour or a payback.
First, consider the Guest …
There are two distinct warnings that Jesus gives here; he does it by talking about two separate people, the guest and the host at the party. The first person Jesus directs our attention toward is the guest who arrives and immediately helps himself to the seat of greatest honour. Why does the guest do that? It’s very simple: The first step toward becoming a part of the in-group is acting and looking like a member of that group. Crash enough parties, take the seat of honour enough times, and pretty soon people will be convinced that you are a genuine ‘honoured guest’ and they’ll start treating you as such.
You want to be a part of a certain group: the rich group here, the newsworthy group there, the powerful group over here, the group that seems to have the most fun. You know as well as the next person that the first step is to transform yourself to look, act, and talk like that group, then move into position to rub elbows with them, and voila! You’re in.
Jesus says here: Don’t do it! Why not? He tells the story here of another guest coming in, this one is really and truly a distinguished guest; and he goes up to you and knocks you right out of the seat that you’ve claimed for yourself. In other words, Jesus says, when you pretend to be something you’re not to get ‘connected’ with this group or that, your position there is never as secure as you’d like to think! You’re never truly ‘connected’ to those folks in the way God intended for us to be connected to other people, because you’ve gone about it in the wrong way. And in general, the warning Jesus gives to us here is this: If you have to pretend to be something you’re not in order to get someplace, you’re better off not going. You’re better off not going because, like the guest at the party, you’ve made ‘connections’ that are not genuinely secure in Christ.
Now, back to our original statement: “Jesus calls us to connect to other people in a way that pays no attention to status.” How well are you living that out?
Let me offer this warning here: if in your relationships with others you find yourself ever mindful of your own status, and often pretending to be something that you’re not, trying to masquerade as more powerful, more intelligent, more worldly, more willing to compromise your values than you’d like to be, then chances are you arepaying a lot of attention to status – both your own status and the status of the other person – and you’re not making the kind of genuine, unconditional connections with other people that Jesus intended.
Second, consider the Host …
Jesus’ first warning, then, centres around the guest. A second warning that Jesus gives in the passage relates to the host of the party. The host is the one who went all out to invite the famous, the fortunate, and the familiar to the party in the first place. And Jesus’ warning once again is, Don’t do it! Why not? He says, because it points squarely to the fact that the host is only inviting those people who can repay him in some way. His motives are self-serving.
Jesus gives us this second warning: If you must expect a reward for doing something, you’re better off not doing it. You’re better off not doing it because, once again, you’re making connections that aren’t genuinely secure in Christ. How well are you living up to Jesus’ exhortation that we relate to other persons in a way that is not mindful of their status or our own?
This second warning is very clear: if I only exert myself to ‘do’ for others after careful consideration of what they can ‘do in return’ for me, then I’ve not met them on the unconditional ground of Christ, but rather I’ve connected with them because of their status. Whether it’s fame, or fortune, or family; somehow, I’ve sized up the other person and said, “Hey, there’s someone who will come in handy one day. I better latch onto them.” And once again, we have failed to make the kind of absolutely unconditional connections that Jesus expects us to make.
Fame. fortune. family. There’s nothing wrong with these things; and Jesus is certainly not suggesting that we ignore these groups as we do the work of God’s kingdom. But, we have overstepped when we use these things as required characteristics of all those to whom we might possibly reach out. Jesus demands that we look beyond these marks of status and be willing to relate to, connect with, anyone whom God might lay in our path. In particular, Jesus insists in this story that we look specifically to those in the world who have no status! Jesus calls both the guest and the host to consider the fallen, the fearsome, and the famished. Who are these people?
The fallen … are those with a past, those whose own status has taken a deathblow because of mistakes they’ve made. Like the woman at the well in John 4 who had a history of failed marriages and was shunned as a result – she was the one Jesus spent time with. Like the thief on the cross that Jesus invited into paradise. Like men and women in your own community who have things in their past that so many churches unfortunately treat like unforgivable sins – divorce, substance abuse, crime, sexual sins etc. Jesus calls you to connect with these peopletoo when you have the opportunity. It doesn’t mean you condone actions that are indeed sinful; but it does mean that you don’t let another person’s status prevent you from reaching out to them; it means that you don’t slink around hoping no one sees you, but rather you ‘connect with’ them unconditionally, because that’s what Jesus calls us to do. Do you know anyone who’s ‘fallen’? People who aren’t welcome in most people’s lives? Let your life be the wedding banquet that ‘rolls out the red carpet’ for them.
The fearsome … are those people who most of the world thinks are just a little bit scary; and we’d rather keep our distance from them, not because of anything they’ve done, but simply because of who they are, usually because of who they are on the outside. Jesus gives a rundown in verse 13: the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind. Who are the ones who are ‘fearsome’ in your community, in your life? The very poor, perhaps. Those of another skin colour, or of another nationality. Those who, I’m sure, are very good and respectable ‘for their kind’ (a phrase that God hates), but who just don’t belong where ‘I am.’
Jesus says that these are precisely the people that God’s people are to connect with! People who aren’t going to hear it anywhere else if you aren’t willing to tell it to them. People who aren’t going to know the love of God anywhere else if you aren’t willing to let God love them through you. The fearsome.
The famished … are people at the greatest possible point of need. The homeless; the jobless; those who are undergoing a great crisis. People who are all right, maybe just like me, that I’d like to deal with under normalcircumstances, but right now they’ve got messes in their lives that I’d rather not get involved in. Once again, Jesus says loud and clear: Get in there! Stop looking at the status of the other person; stop sizing up how much it’s going to cost you, and how much they can give you back, and just get in there, and be God’s messenger in a delicate, crucial situation.
There is someone out there on the fringe of your life today, that if you were to go to them and simply connect with them, one human being to another, it would be the greatest thing in their life. It would indeed be the equivalent to them of being invited to a great wedding banquet. Be warned: They probably won’t be able to pay you back. They may not be able to do anything for you in return. And you may not even get a pat on the back for your efforts.
But there’s no greater joy in the Kingdom of God than to be able to relate to other people, meet them where they are, without being worried to death about what they can give back to you. And there’s no greater joy in heaven than for God to see you and me doing just that, loving others unconditionally, networking unconditionally, without regard to status, fame, fortune, familiarity or anything else.
To truly seize the day, every day, we have to be prepared to make the most of every opportunity God provides for us to live an authentic Christian life. Seizing the day sounds like a selfish pursuit. But as disciples of Jesus Christ, seizing the day means seizing the day Jesus gives us. Knowing His heart and His mission like we do, we should therefore assume that when we truly seize the day, it will more often than not involve us in connecting with and serving the needs of someone other than ourselves.
Just think about Jesus when He was walking among us all those years ago, how many hours in the day did he spend serving others, giving to others, blessing others, relating to others … and how many hours of the day did He spend attending to His own personal needs? That’s what truly seizing the day looks like. Jesus showed us how. Are we prepared to follow Him wherever He leads us and seize day that He has made for us – not the one we planned?
May God open the eyes of our heart to hear His Word this day and receive it.