John 12:16 “At first his disciples did not understand all this. Only after Jesus was glorified did they realize that these things had been written about him and that these things had been done to him.”
What is the most powerful memory you have? One of the most effective ways to cultivate connections that are wholesome, long-lasting, and healthy is to bring about positive memories. Cloe Madanes recounts a case study of a couple that battled to survive a troubled marriage and a conflicted relationship in an article in Psychology Today called, Creating Good Memories.Instead of giving up and walking away, one couple decided to seek counselling and find healing via the process of making positive memories together. This is what Madanes wrote:
“A good relationship – whether with a partner, child, friend, or family member – is one of life’s greatest gifts, and there’s no reason to settle for anything less. When problems and conflicts arise, I counsel against exchanging one relationship for another, like a Christmas gift we take back for a store credit in hope of finding that thing we desire most. I believe most troubled relationships can be transformed into satisfying, rewarding ones. Simply falling into a great long-lasting relationship is about as rare as finding a gold coin on the street. Good relationships take work, but we all have the capacity to create joyful, lasting, deeply satisfying connections in our lives.”
The power of these connections is increased when we realise that we have the ability to create a memorable experience together. Over the course of two weeks, the couple that was the subject of her case study was given the task of completing a unique activity that would result in the formation of a positive memory for the two of them. They were able to redirect their attention away from their negative feelings by concentrating on the positive aspect of the fact that they were able to create fantastic memories. The same way that they were able to bring out the best in themselves, they were also able to bring out the best in one another.
What is it about you that makes other people shine? It’s true that relationships are complicated, but they’re definitely worth it!
I have often pondered the daily dynamics that existed between Jesus and His twelve disciples. As an example, the Gospels provide us with some insight into their squabbling and competition for positions within the Kingdom, like when they disputed over who would be the most powerful within the Kingdom. Nevertheless, Jesus had a special ability to transform every quarrel into a teaching moment that resulted in a vivid memory.
They must have shared these memories with one another after Jesus left them and they awaited the coming gift of the Holy Spirit. They had ten days in that upper room to pray and reflect. Think of the many memories they must have recalled with new understanding.
John tells us that, at first, they didn’t get it. They didn’t understand what was really happening until after Jesus was glorified – until after He had died, risen, and ascended back to Heaven. Then, they remembered and understood! Imagine the joy that must have flooded their souls as they remembered the times they shared with Jesus; they had even taken part in fulfilling prophecies with Christ. These powerful memories would overshadow their own individual failures and regrets.
What do you focus the most? Make a conscious decision to recall the good times and bring to mind the precious memories. Then decide every day to create a happy memory with someone else. You will one day be able to look back on the history that you have created together and feel a sense of great joy.
Ask God to help you recall those good memories and let Him remind you of those days when things seemed perfect. You may not think you have any memories like that, but God will show them to you.